International Students, you can`t get away from `em - Take 2. Amazing coincidence this, but we were in Mangai - the restaurant we frequent the most that serves cheap authentic Brazilian cuisine - and we spotted two Brazilians talking to a gringo. It`s fun to hear a British accent and wonder where they are from. We supposed the gentleman talking was from Salisbury, Basingstoke or Little Mousehole. Anyway, next time Rach passed their table with her plate of cheesy rice, dried meat and beans she thought she recognised the Brazilians. A brief conversation later and this is what we found out - the two Brazilians were in York. The male Brazilian was a PhD International Student who attended an event Rachel and I put on in St. Mikes` Belfrey Hall. He and his wife have moved to Natal and the Brit - well he was a Prof from York University. A man called Jim from Computer Science. A quick look on the website reveals it was probably Dr. Jim Woodcock.

Nelson walking. Nelson is galloping around the house, arms outstretched. This changes everything.

Amusing English from my students. I have to be careful what I write here in case any of them check this blog, but here are some quotes from students' written assignments.

"My Mum, she get stressed sometimes, but she got a real pure heart" (It`s perfect English if you`re a grass-chewing cowboy).

"Yes, my friend, all the mistery [sic], romance and polar bears are back" (A review of next week`s LOST episode).

"Don`t worry you are not going to die, because Leonardo di Caprio will give happyness [sic]" (I wasn`t worried before, but now I might well be...)

"You are not understanding? Let one explain better". (One could do with improving one`s grammar although one is impeccably polite).

Skype. The wonders of the internet - we have Skype and a webcam. It`s awesome. Anybody else have Skype?

ENGLAND v BRAZIL

Things I miss about England #98: The Hoobs. Great kids show on Channel 4 I used to watch with Nelsinho... All together now: "We`re off to see the tiddly-peeps, on the road we go!"

Things I love about Brazil #71: Discovery Kids Brasil http://www.discoverykidsbrasil.com/. They may not have the Hoobs here but Cable TV provides several channels of 24 hour kids programmes. Advert free, non-violent and educational, Discovery Kids presented by the intrepid Doki Descobre (pictured) is our (and Nelsinho`s) favourite. What`s more is that he teaches Portuguese to small children which I find helpful. "As formas sao muito divertidos!" (Shapes are a lot of fun!).

If anyone finds themselves in Brazil, looking after a baby between the hours of 5am and 7am here is a review of the best (and worst) things to watch on Discovery Kids. Check the link above for more details on any of these shows, or for the chance to play games with Doki and learn some Portuguese.

Pocoyo (also seen in the UK). The English version is narrated by Stephen Fry. A 3-yr old, and his duck (Pato) and elephant (Ellie) friend have numerous, unpredictable adventures. Absolutely brilliant short animation series from a production company based in Madrid. Great sfx too. 9/10

Jakers! As Adventuras de Piggly Winks (Jakers! The adventures of Piggly Winks). This show has a clever premise - an old Irish pig living in America tells his grandchildren what it was like growing up in rural Ireland. Good music, animation average. 7/10

Harry e o balde de dinosaurs (Harry and his bucket of dinosaurs). Not bad, mildly entertaining animation about a boy who has adventures in the imaginary "Dino-World" with his bucket of dinosaurs who come to life. 6/10

Os Irmaos Coalas (The Koalo Brothers). As the theme tune says "adoram ajudar" (they love to help!). Alrightish antics of two brothers who live in a caravan in the Australian outback. They fly around in a plane and help people. The problems with this show are many: why do the 8 people living in a small village in the outback need help every day? How can the Koalo Brothers afford to run a plane when they appear to have no source of income? Who are the two kids who live with them - the frankly wet Ned (see Caillou and Poko below), and the annoying Josie? Why do they kids never go to school? My theory: Ned and Josie are foster kids and the Brothers Koalo use Australian state money meant for education to fund their fixation with flying in their old time plane. The village folk are too polite to tell the brothers that they don`t need any help at all... 5/10

Toddworld. Todd is far too politically correct to be a real boy living in the real world. 4/10.

Caillou (3/10), Poko (2/10). Boring, slow, dreamy and tame stories about two young lads who probably flinch at passing butterflies. Poko has anger management issues too.

ENGLAND v BRAZIL

Things I miss about England #3: Easter. We had a great Easter in Recife when we visited our old church in Piedade. I met the vicar for the first time, a colossal man of 6'8" who patted me on the shoulder much the same way I might pat the shoulder of an 8 year old boy. The sunrise service was excellent but nothing beats St.Mikes and Riding Lights for Easter week...

Things I love about Brazil #49: The "informal" way they do tests. This week the kids at the Language School were given their mid term test. One of my groups didn't do so well which might mean they are poor or their teacher is. Perhaps both. Anyway, it took me 10 minutes to settle them down and be quiet to take their paper and even when they were doing it and not chatting away in Portuguese they kept shouting out, "Hey teacher, what does it mean - foolishness?" My reply: "Now, Flauber. This would not be a test if I told you that". Two minutes later somebody gets out of their seat to come and show me a word on their paper. With a look of utter seriousness: "Teacher, I don`t understand 'hitch-hiking' - what is it mean?". Again, my reply "Diego, I can't tell you that". And it wasn't just the boys... "Teacher, I have never seen this word - o que isso, rapaz?" "Deborah, be quiet and guess the answer" and so on and so forth... Endearing as this was I eventually said: "How do you do tests in Brazil? Do you all sit around and talk for an hour". One wise crack chirped up: "The teacher tells us everything". Righteo. Maybe that explains their poor marks. Some amusing answers in the papers will get posted here shortly.

Hello to... Norwegians such as Maria and Jon who make a point of reading the blog.

Another one bites the sand. Last Sunday we discovered a beautiful guest house (Pousada) that you can visit for the day. It is baby friendly, has several pools and a restaurant. It also faces the sea. After lunch I decided to take a quick dip but it was high tide. "Hmmm, those waves look a bit big", I thought. "Nevermind, this will be refreshing". So refreshing were the waves I got bowled right back onto the beach twice. The second time I nearly lost my swimming trunks which would have been embarassing for all at the Pousada, not least my wife. At this point Mark saunters out and says he fancies a swim. "I wouldn`t if I were you, it's too strong". Mark gives me a look like he thinks I am BGB* and dives in. 5 minutes later he comes out looking like he`s been pulled out of a washing machine and promptly rinsed through a sandpit (which is a good description of what actually happened). Funniest of all, he forgot he had his wallet in his swimming trunks. The wallet made it back out the water with Mark, but all his money was crinkly and wet. * BGB = Big Girl's Blouse.

Armchair Blogger... Finally, after some shenanigans, we have internet at home. This is the first blog from the comfort of our own dining room. In theory, we should be emailing you all much more often now.

Poverty. According to "Veja", the popular Brazilian current affairs magazine 31% of the population are classified as living below the poverty line. This reminded me of a picture I took off the side of a bus when in Rio. It shows a couple of burnt out cars on the edge of a smelly canal. What fascinated me is that when I looked closer I could see that this hulled out car was some guy`s house. He had just got out and walked off...

The wealth gap is huge in Brazil with some of the population enjoying very affluent and comfortable lives. The students I teach English for are from the latter end of society - they mostly attend the best school in Natal and have ambitions to be Doctors, Lawyers, Diplomats, Architects etc. Many of them are actively involved in community projects to help the poor. Having said that, Natal itself is an affluent city with no sprawling favelas and little of the associated social problems of the Rio, Sao Paulo and Recife.

Recife. We made it down to Recife for the Easter weekend. It's great to be back seeing friends (such as Fabinho and Duia) who we've missed since moving to Natal. We decided to catch a flight down. It took half an hour - the shortest domestic flight I've ever taken. They didn't bother turning the fasten seat belt signs off cos by the time we had finished take off we were about to land. Nelson charmed the passengers and was unusally fond of one of the air stewardesses and kicked up a huge fuss when we left the plane without her... On the agenda for the next few days - the beach, watching and playing football and the sunrise church service on Easter Sunday.

Portuguese Learning - é tão dificil, né? Encouragingly, being back in Recife shows me that the Portuguese is slowly improving as I can banter a bit more freely. So I thought I'd mention a bit about this extraordinary language. It is darn complicated and fluency is hard to attain because each verb has to be conjugated seperately. Still, in other parts of the language NE Brazilians show great economy in their use of Portuguese. Some examples,

1) "E ai" is the Brazilian equivelent for "Now then" in Yorkshire. It covers all eventualities, is a greeting, a conversation starter and a gap filler all in one. It roughly translates to "And there" and is pronounced eee-eye-eee.

2) "Valeu" is the Brazilian equivelent for "Cheers" and "Alright". When playing football it gets thrown in all over the place and seems to mean thanks, sorry, well done, good pass, goal, calm down, the ball was out, I'll do better next time, did you see that?, could you get me a bottle of water because I'n so thirsty etc. etc.

3) "Foi mesmo foi?" "Foi!". "Foi" is a very versatile word in Portuguese as it means both "it/he/she was" and "it/he/she went". After some surprising incident or story is related, somebody will usually say "Foi mesmo foi?" which literally means "it was really the same, was it?". I suppose in England we would say "is that right?" or "really?". Back comes the answer "Foi!" - "It was!".

4) "Não. Não pode não." This is the slogan for the Brazilian anti-piracy organisation. It comes from an advert where a man tells his son he can't watch a pirated DVD. It shows how não - "no" - is very flexibily used as it is also stands for "not" in English. It is thrown in willy nilly into almost any negative sentence at any place any number of times. In this case, the Father says to his son "Não. Não pode não" (pronounced: Now. Now podgy now). In English, "No. No you can't".

The library of love. They'll both kill me for mentioning this on my blog but Amy (my sister-in-law) and Mark (my school buddy and best man) are now "an item" or as my Aunt Betty says "special friends". Mark works mornings in the library in the language school in Natal and Amy works afternoons - so perhaps it was over an order for more English File Textbooks that the spark of something more was found. In any case, they're spending a lot of this weekend down here in Recife with Amy's friend Erica and her boyfriend Ricardo. I'm sure everyone's having fun!

Arrival of babies. So it's a big congrats to the Byrnes on the arrival of baby Grace. Along with cousin Anna and hubby Richard's girl Esme and the Thomas' little Rachel the population of fine eligible young ladies is growing. More future friends (or girlfriends possibly!) for Nelsinho.

Easter. Wishing everyone a happy Easter! At the language school we have been eating modified Brazilian Hot Cross Buns. They're cold and made with chocolate but they do have a prominant cross on the top. Tonight a choir is coming into the school to sing Easter songs - I've been asked to share a "word" about the real meaning of Easter during the presentation. I will probably use several words in actual fact, and these will probably be in English as my Portuguese is stilll a bit rusty. In any case, like for Brits, most Brazilian kids think of Easter as a time to eat chocolate so it may be a chance to say a bit about why I think it is more important than that.

Blu-Tac update. Big thanks to Danny and Caz Byrne for sending me Blu-Tac (the shortage of which in Brazil was covered on this blog) and also for sending me curry from Rafi`s www.spicebox.co.uk

The Mystery of the Noise at Night... Solved. One night last week, at around 4.30am, Rachel and I and Mark (but not Nelson, thankfully) were awoken by some beast growling in the street outside our house. It approached slowly and the noise it made got louder and louder until it felt like an airplane was about to land in our bedroom. We rushed out to the balcony to see what on earth it could be only to catch sight of a small pick up truck rounding the corner at the bottom of our street.

Rach (not one to be woken at 4.30am) muttered Portuguese expletives and went back to bed. I stayed awake and watched the mysterious pick up make a return a few minutes later. To my surprise it was a council van with two guys serenely sitting in the front and a contraption not unlike a machine gun pumping gas onto peoples' houses. This was what was making noise. Why the council should be pumping gas at private homes at that time of night at that volume was beyond us. (It sounds like the hobby of a crazed James Bond villain). And furthermore, why did none of the other residents wake up or complain? So, before Rach had the chance to call the council to have a rant we asked some of the folks round here what was going on...

Basically, the council are spraying some anti-dengue chemicals. Dengue fever is a nasty illness transmitted through water and this gas can help deter it (somehow!). The council can`t spray during the day in case the gas is sprayed into peoples faces on the street - so they do it at night. Now we know, but it`s still a bitter pill to swallow when you`re already sleep deprived. Just ask Rach.

Flashback to February. I meant to post this a while ago - reviews of two gigs we went to in Recife. More news of Natal next time including the story of the noisy council workers who spray chemicals outside our window at 4.30am...

FATBOY SLIM v MARISA MONTE

We’ve been fortunate to see two decent acts performing in Recife recently. In the Green corner representing Brazil, the very talented and highly popular singer/songwriter Marisa Monte who played Recife’s largest indoor arena, the Chevrolet Hall. And in the Red corner representing England, Quentin Nial Cook aka. DJ Norman Cook aka. Fatboy Slim playing a free open air gig as part of his Brazilian tour at Marco Zero in Recife Antigo. So, who came out on top – the best of Brazil or the best of England?

Marisa Monte
Four of us went to this – Mark, Rachel, Amy and I. We drove in as the arena comes with ample parking. Sadly, about half a km away, we got stuck in horrendous traffic and remained stationary for an hour. We eventually parked up on a side street and walked. It turned out that one section of the arena had been rented out to a Christian Convention so parking was at a premium for everyone!

Still, we were pretty confident we would see all of Marisa Monte’s set seeing as Brazilian performers don’t take to the stage until very late (see Caetano blog just before Christmas). Unfortunately, Marisa had come on relatively early and we only caught the last 45 minutes. It was great stuff though – she had a full string section, the stage lighting was amazing and she finished with a lot of her famous songs, including some numbers from her time as a member of the trio ‘Tribalistas’.

Fatboy Slim
On Feb 1st, Mark, Amy and I and a few CELTA graduates piled down to Marco Zero in the old part of Recife to see Fatboy Slim play for free. It is very unusual for Recife to host such a big star – especially for free – so the old area of the city was swarming with some estimated 70,000 people despite it being a Thursday night. There was no way we were going to miss the start of this set as Fatboy Slim didn’t take to the stage until 12.30am. He energetically rattled through some of his songs and a few of his own mixes of the likes of Daft Punk, Gorillaz and Groove Armada.

At around 2am, in full flow, the power cut and the emergency lighting went up. Norman Cook was not impressed and eventually left the stage. We took this as our cue to go home (along with several thousand others), so it was a disappointing end to the night. When we eventually found a free taxi (at around 3am) we could hear the distant noise of the concert cranking into life once more. So the power must have come on and Fatboy will have fired up his decks but by then we were too exhausted to care. Shame really, as it would have been good to hear his big finale.

In conclusion... don’t expect things to be straightforward when going to concerts in Brazil. Expect the unexpected. In terms of MM and FS we missed the start of one and left before the end of the other. Both performers were in fine form when we did see them though so we’ll call it a draw – a fair score for both of 3 out of 5.

The inside of Brazilian hospitals. Well, see last email about "normal life" but it ain`t happened yet. Down in Joao Passoa on Sunday to visit Rachel`s family and Rachel`s Mum fell ill and we spent the rest of the day in a hospital. (She`s doing fine now, by the way). We stayed the night down there and came back up to Natal on Monday cutting it fine for teaching English in the afternoon and evening. And then this week Nelsinho has picked up a fever possibly related to his having new teeth coming through. So, we`ve been off to the Docs again and he isn`t going to play group. Maybe next week things will be normal (!). On the plus side, we have lots to thank God for - family about, good hospitals and health plan (more than can be said for the majority of Brazil`s citizens)...

International Students - you can`t get away from `em. As Alanis Morisette incorrectly sang, "isn`t it ironic?". Having worked with International Students arriving in the UK, I now am working with International Students about to leave to the UK and the USA. In order to study abroad (esp graduate degrees) many universities in the USA, Europe and Australia require Students to have a TOEFL qualification. Basically, it`s a blimmin hard standardised test which shows they have good enough English to survive at uni. What`s more is that the test costs US$150 each time you take it and even if you pass, your qualification is only valid for 2 years. The test itself is 4 hours long and entirely internet based (including speaking where candidates talk into a computer). Anyway, I`m teaching/coaching about a dozen prospective students here, young people all itching to be international students in places just like York... So while you contemplate the benefits of being born into a society immersed in the most widely used language in the world, spare a prayer for Dory (who speaks 3 languages) who takes her test (at the 3rd attempt) this Saturday.

The threat of normality approaches. After what has been an exhausting few weeks we are approaching a state of normality. One suspects that in Brazil and in the Barlow family there is no such thing as "normal" but at least the week has a recognisable routine. My driving license has been translated which means I can take Nelsinho to play group in the morning... we have a wardrobe for our clothes and our suitcases are finally empty... we have a church to go to... I roughly know how to do my job... all our books are in a new bookcase... my arm is better...

But then, Rachel forgot to wear her proper shoes today and came to work in flip-flops... Nelsinho is about to walk which will result in unimaginable chaos... the nearby Catholics are singing vigils all night... there are plans this weekend to maybe do a road trip to visit the family in Joao Passoa... Amy`s friend is over from the UK... what was that about approaching normality?

ENGLAND v BRAZIL
Things I miss about England #14: Pedestrian crossings. Brazilians, and especially the Natalese, cross roads with no regard to oncoming traffic. We live close to a bus depot and every time we drive past various Lemming-like Brazilians will leap out from behind buses into the path of our speeding car. It`s not always easy to spot them when you`re concentrating so hard on not hitting the cyclist with no lights riding towards you on your side of the road. Anyway, these pedestrians won`t stop, speed up, shout or even acknowledge us. They simply saunter across the road like they own it... Ironically, Brazil does have zebra crossings. It`s just we`ve never seen anyone use them.

Things I love about Brazil #41: Hybrid cars. Our car runs on Petrol and Gas. Gas is far cheaper and better for the environment. We have a cannister in our boot which we have to fill up twice a week. By the steering wheel there is a switch to alternate between the two types of fuel. The downside is that with gas the car has the acceleration of a recently fed tortoise. Still, Brazilians are pointing the way for the future on this issue. Brits are much slower to catch onto new technology, I think.

Ups and Downs... I just sent this email out to a few people.

Anyway, the good news is that I have passed my MA in Conflict, Governance and Development with Distinction! (PhD here I come - only joking! Seriously, only joking!). This summer was CRAZY with the birth of Nelsinho but God has really helped us through it...

The sad news: We have shed a few tears this week as we heard the sad news that Krish Rockley died on Monday. Krish was the wife of Paul, my Supervisor with Friends International and she had been battling brain tumours for several years. She was only in her 40s and leaves two kids under 10 years old. So please pray for this wonderful family. Rachel and I are really gutted by this, as they were very good friends and very inspiritational people. We know she is in a better place free of pain for which we praise God.

ENGLAND v BRAZIL
Things I miss about England #12: Blu-Tac. Blu-Tac is to teachers what fingers are to pianists... essential pieces of equipment to do the job. In Brazil you can't get Blu-Tac so many English Teachers ask their friends to bring it from the UK in their suitcases when they visit. It is then sparingly used and re-used and saved and salvaged as if it were in actual fact Gold-Tac. You can get White Tac here but it just don't cut the mustard...

Things I love about Brazil #47: Tapioca. We have discovered a local store that specialises in authentic, home made Brazilian foods. It's sort of like a Deli with cheeses, nuts, cakes, meats, local alcohol (which would probably make you blind if you drunk it straight!) and above all Tapioca. Rachel has introduced me to the delights of cooked Tapioca with melted cheese, condensed milk and coconut shavings. It may not sound like it, but this is in actual fact irresistably delicious.

Shoulder update. Shoulder is getting better, is out of a sling and is performing small tasks - thank God. Strangely, a dislocated shoulder has affected my ability to speak Portuguese. I've found that physical ailments that have knocked my confidence (including being ill before) cause me to retreat into myself a bit and reduce my propensity to take risks. Hence, not speaking Portuguese. Rach says that psychologically this has something to do with my Mum being a nurse... don't quite understand but you can email her for more details.

Nelsinho nearly graduating from Baby Uni. N is practicing at great length the three major baby skills he has not mastered - walking, crawling and talking. He's turned into quite a beafcake and is already in hulk-like fashion out-stripping his 9-12 month outfits when he is only 8 months old. He loves his playgroup Primeiro Passos (First Steps) and I reckon he is being challenged by his peers to learn to crawl - thus, all the practicing on our floor in the house when he gets home.

Church in Natal. Natal, being a slightly sleepier and smaller city than Recife, shuts down from about 2pm on Saturday to 5pm on Sunday. Most shops close, and importantly no churches have Sunday morning services! Mark and I tried to go last Sunday to visit Fernando's church. F is a teacher at Cultura who lives a little way out the city. Mark and I set off at 6pm and tried to follow the signs to his town but ended up "Macluring" it out of Natal, through some villages in the middle of nowhere in the pitch black until 1 hour later we made it back to Natal from the opposite side. We had done a huge Uey and wasted a lot of gas. As Mark pointedly asked: "When we were playing football in the playground aged 11, did you expect us, 15 years later, to be driving together at night, lost, through the Brazilian outback?" No, Mev, can't say that I did. So still no church yet but we're working on it.

I'd give my left arm... Another quick post. After a great few days off for Carnaval we are back in to the swing of work. We stayed in Natal, found some nice beaches, ate some nice food and entertained the extended family on Monday. Thursday evening I managed to slip over on some wet steps and dislocate my shoulder. Thank God for a health plan and nearby hospital. A kindly Brazilian Doctor popped my arm back in place and now I have to wear a sling for five days. Rach has a cough and lost her voice... so Nelsinho is wondering why his Pops won't pick him up or his Ma talk to him. Poor lad.

Anyway, more news once we settle into our routine again and get internet at the house.

Carnaval approaches. Stupid blogger have made me sign up to google to continue posting. Anyway, here we are all sorted again. Not much has happened since the last blog except we are all better, settling into Natal and this week I have been mostly cooking pancakes... one for every Cultura Student at our centre - that´s nearly 400! Mev and Amy have gone to Pipa then to Olinda for Carnaval. All Brazil is on holiday until the middle of next week. More blogs soon, I promise.

What are we like? Just a quick blog today as internet access is at a premium. In short, we have moved to Natal and have all started our respective jobs at Cultura Inglesa. The whole family has been hit by a dreaded 24 hour virus - it was me first, then Nelsinho, then Rach today and Amy, Celia and Mark have all had it. So it's been a funny old week. That´s what we get for trying to move house, start a new job, begin teaching, unpack, all with a baby in the space of 2 days. More news soon!

Transitions. We packed up our house today - so it's goodbye to the Ocean view on Piedade beach. Rach and I will head off to Porto de Galinhas and leave the Grandparents to babysit for the weekend (I'm not sure who I'm more worried for: Nelson or Steve and Celia). Monday we move, Tuesday I plan lessons, Wednesday start teaching...

CELTA finished and I passed with a "B" grade which I was pleased with. One of the best things about the course was meeting some real characters. Fabricio (pictured), is a thirty-something Brazilian who teaches English. He has published Poetry in Portuguese. His knowledge of English grammar, etymology, history, Shakespeare, poetry and popular culture surpassed us gringos considerably. He was a walking encycolpedia of lesson plans...

On the course were other memorable types - Bruna who lives on an island and is married to a man who surfs for a living, the unusually named Hugo Alberqurque with the perfect English accent, Emily from Leeds who has flawless Portuguese and many others...

ENGLAND v BRAZIL
Things I miss about England #7: Safe Electrics. Plug sockets in Brazil come in all shapes and sizes and states of repair or disrepair. The pins on the end of cables don't often fit because they may be too tight or too loose. Open wires are not uncommon and sparks fly whenever you switch some appliances on. Our apartment - despite being brand new - had dodgy electrics; the lights flickering or not working from time to time. Rachel's family's apartment has showers that give you electric shocks whenever you try to change the temperature or pressure. But today I learned a a bit about why this might be the case...

As part of taking our house down to move to Natal, our local Mr Fixit attempted to dissassemble our shower head for us to take with us. At one point when I was out the room, I heard a loud pop and saw a flash from the bathroom. I popped my head round the corner to see if our man was still breathing only to find him trying to undo live wires with a metal pair of pliers. He seemed pretty pleased with himself as he whistled away. Health and Safety, it has to be said, has not really made it to Brazil. I guess I'm generally OK with this until it involves the electronics of lifts, ovens or taxis. To mis-quote Prince Philip: "That box looks like it's been wired by a Brazilian". All I can say is, at least we're not in Chad where they barely get electricity at all. Every cloud and all that.

Things I love about Brazil #16: Guarana. Like a cross between Apple Tango and something nicer, Guarana is the best way to quench your thirst round here. Only available in Brazil or from shady corner shops on Euston Road, London.

ENGLAND v BRAZIL
Things I miss about England #78: Can Openers and Cork Screws. I've yet to find a standard can opener with a twisty knob or a Cork Screw with those helpful handles. Brazilian varieties of these household tools are minimalistic to say the least and involve a lot of huffing and puffing from whoever wants to get the good stuff out.

Things I love about Brazil #45: Amusing uses of English. Brazilians seem to have a flexible grasp of languages; the main aim for them is communication not accuracy. When translating signs or notices into English there's about a 90 to 95% accuracy rate where a native Ingles could easily understand the gist and meaning of what has been written even if the sentences are not grammatically perfect.

However, sometimes, it all goes a bit pear-shaped. While in Rio over Christmas we found several examples of these translation "near misses". One restaurant had on the menu an option for: 'Tupical Disk'. Rather than risk ordering something that sounded like the name of a heavy metal Rock outfit or a Landrover part we stayed away. Later we deciphered this must have stood for Tropical Dish. Our hotel invited men to use the 'Dismissable Razors'. I've never used razors that have agreed to be dismissed before, but I assumed these were much the same as the disposable variety.

Anyway, for Christmas my Mother-in-law gave me some clothes made by the Brazilian brand 'Sandpiper'. Their slogan loses something in translation (see above). In Portuguese this would make perfect sense - 'uma pessoa simples' is seen to be somebody down to earth, straightforward, open and honest. In English the meaning is somewhat different... I can only hope my Mother-in-law was referring to the Portuguese understanding when she purchased my gift! For more examples of amusing uses of English abroad visit http://www.engrish.com/

And back in the real world... Sorry to all you avid readers that the blog has not been updated as regularly as the twice a week I´ve been aiming for in the past. Definitley back on now as CELTA has finished for all intents and purposes. Final assignment in and marked and no more teaching practice. Now the real thing: teaching English... classes start in about 10 days time!

(For any English Teachers out there - never try to teach Brazilians the Present Perfect Simple. It has no equivelent in Portuguese and they will haul you over the coals for it. I discovered this first hand yesterday in a class I was teaching!)

Nelson well. Ol´"Golden Boy" (as he has recently been christened by some Brazilian relatives) is doing just fine after his fever and stomach bug last week. More teeth are coming through but apart from that he is in tip top form and continues to be a very energetic and happy little boy. Thanks for praying.

ENGLAND v BRAZIL
Things I miss about England #16: Fresh Milk. Just UHT out of packets for us here and Nido (or Nongo if you´re Mev) powdered variety...
Things I love about Brazil #81: Warm evenings. Walking in the sea breeze in just shorts, a t-shirt and sandals. Doesn't sound like Scarborough in January does it?

Nelson not well. Just a quick note to let you all know Nelsinho had a pretty bad fever this week. He seems to be on the mend... please pray for a full recovery for the little dude.

As from today I'm starting a New Years list of things I miss about England versus things I love about Brazil called ENGLAND v BRAZIL and here is the first one.

Things I miss about England #44: Pint Glasses. Brazil being hot you'd think they'd like BIG cups to put lots of water in. Not so. Juice or water and even beer comes served in petite recipticles only barely bigger than shot glasses. Where is the good old fashioned pint-a-lager I ask you? "We don't like our beer left out too long - it gets warm so fast" was the reply from Rachel's Uncle on this topic. Small glasses mean you can keep your liquids in the fridge rather than in your glass, it seems... but all the same when you fancy a swift one there's nothing quite like a full pint I say.

Things I love about Brazil #73: Hammocks. Brazilians know how to relax and fix hammocks to everything to provide optimum opportunities for lounging. We have one in our house pinned up between two walls. Nelsinho loves it! Ideally, hammocks should be placed near the fridge, under shade, overlooking a quiet beach.