More amusement at the supermarket. Regular readers of Maps and Legends will know that I have a thing about the supermarket employees who bag groceries here in Brazil. I've just come back from the weekly shop. Today, my bagger was "Soccorro". This strange and popular name for women in Brazil is actually the common word for "help" or "aid". So, it was somewhat ironic that the somebody called Soccorro helping me with my bags turned out to be, frankly, quite unhelpful...

Soccorro, a lady in her 50s probably, bags very vociferously as she possibly attempts to simultaneously break the number of plastic-bags-per-item-of-shopping record and tries to win the Nordestao bagger of the month award. Half-way through the routine she noticed a small packet of curry powder I had bought. (NB. Brazilian curry powder is so mild you have to empty the whole lot each time you want any flavour in your cooking). Soccorro was convinced the curry packet had a hole in it. She picked up the small plastic envelope and proceeded to pummel it repeatedly against the till counter to demonstrate. The cashier was mildly unimpressed when, after a dozen smacks, the bag gave way and curry started flying around the vacinity. I don't know if the packet really had a problem to begin with, but after such rough treatment, it wasn't entirely unexpected that it would split. In any case, I would happily have taken the curry packet home to use as it was (before the beating) but now there was nothing left to do but wait as Soccorro summoned for help.

She called over one of the guys on rollerskates who stocks the shelves to bring a new packet of curry. But, he was busy sorting out a problem at a different cash register (possibly caused by another overly-keen bagger, who knows?). So, after waiting for five or ten minutes with my paid and heavily bagged (ready for nuclear fallout) shopping, Soccorro herself sprinted off to find me another packet of curry... and she came jogging back spouting many "desculpes" and handed me the curry packet (which, of course, she had bagged). Problem solved. But, my question, was there ever a problem in the first place?

I shouldn't be too harsh - I suppose. These guys really care about customer satisfaction and they do work very hard for very little pay. It's just that maybe it's possible to be helpful to the point of unhelpfulness.

Things I miss about England #41: The drive from York to Grange-over-sands in the Lake District. I must have driven that route a dozen times with international students, with my parents and even for a stag weekend, but it was always a gorgeous drive the two hours through Harrogate, over the dales and moors, and up into Cumbria past lakes, pubs, sheep and the best of the glorious English countryside.

Things I love about Brazil #40: The drive from our house to Tataruga Guest House on Tabintinga beach. On Sunday, Rachel and I, her folks, Amy and Herbinho drove out to our favourite little spot to relax - a Norwegian-owned guest house facing the sea about half an hour drive from Natal. The drive is stunning and I always reach for the car keys before anyone else to be the one to take us there. The journey starts as you skirt Natal's most famous and populated beach - Ponta Negra - with a view of bald man's hill and then past the ABC football stadium and down the coast. Once past the police check, the road takes you through a string of quiet seaside towns with quaint Catholic chapels and brightly painted shrimp restaurants. Cruise past the stunning Cotovelo, Piringi and Buzias beaches on the left and mountains of lunar-like sand dunes to the right. At one point, you have to hit the breaks as you nudge past the world's biggest cashew tree (it really is the biggest - this is not a figure of speech) which has grown to such an extent it encroaches on the road. As you approach Tabitinga beach, the road rises sharply and you are left with a postcard view of the Atlantic ocean. Just before the turning to the guest house you can stop at Dolphin view, take pictures and try to spot any fins peaking out of the water. The guest house is off the main road, and so you have to take the car out onto bumpy red soil for half a mile before you get there. I love this final stretch, it reminds me of driving Dad's LandCruiser in Chad.

ACCORDING TO BOB: The view from the Andes.
Chile is a very strange shape. It's like a sliver, a needle, a hockey stick on the western edge of the continent (see outline above). To drive the 2400 miles from the icey southern regions to the desert-like border with Peru is meant to be thrilling. I would love to do this one day, perhaps on a motorbike like Che Guevera. Chile is split into 13 states positioned head to toe, like the back of a dinosaur skeleton down the side of the Andes. The States are named, in true military fashion, from north to south, State 1, State 2, State 3 etc. According to Bob, most of Chile's population live in the central regions around Santiago - States 5 and 6 or so. Administering this bizarrely-shaped country is a nightmare and the government is trying to encourage people to spread out and populate the extremities by offering tax breaks so as to put less pressure on Santiago which is expanding and becoming more polluted as it houses over 50% of the country's 11 million people.

And there concludes the According to Bob series... thanks to the main man Roberto Troncoso for his razor-sharp insight.

Shorter posts please. If you've read this far, you're a saint. I keep getting carried away with my posting on here, and some of these entries are getting obscenely long. Shorter, to the point posts, I promise.

All Saints Holiday. Another Brazilian public holiday and another trip for us Joao Pessoa to be with the family. The day takes a predictable course: 1) arrive at lunch time 2) eat lunch at 3pm 3) chat/snooze/banter with Rachel's extended family and eat cake 4) go and get ice cream or milkshakes from a special choice outlet 5) stand around the cars talking about leaving 6) leave for Natal in the dark when all day we thought we would leave early so as to drive in the light 7) pray we are not stopped at the police check 8) arrive late and exhausted and thanking God we survived the trip on the unlit main road...

Tropa de Elite. A film has come out in Brazil which has everybody talking. It is based on a book which in turn is based on interviews with the real Tropa de Elite of Rio. Tropa de Elite (Elite troop) is a police force who are attempting to reign in the crime and drug trafficking in the slums of Rio de Janeiro. The film portrays extreme violence and the brutality of life in the favela as seen through the eyes of Captain Nascimento and his armed men. The trailer is on YouTube and you can watch it here if you want to, but you have been warned!

But, here's the rub. According to Wikipedia a staggering 11 million people saw this film before it's official launch date. This was made possible by some workers from a subtitle company leaking the English version of the film into the informal market. Up and down the countries illegal DVDs were sold in streets before the movie even hit the cinemas. One of my students even brought it in to show our class. This controvesy has only boosted the films popularity and notoreity and the cinemas are packed with people seeing this film in its "official" format. By all accounts it is very good, although it's portrayal of violence is stark and senseless. According to one of my students, it is MORE violent than City of God - a film which, if you have seen it I think you'll agree, pushed the envelope for on-screen violence in its portrayal of gang warfare in Brazil's desperate inner city communities.

All this raises the thorny question of legality in distributing arts - be it film, music or some other medium. Our British ethical codes, and some might say our Christian ones, leave us in no doubt that we should pay a fair price for a product so that the government, the shops and the producer get their cut. Brazilians are much more hazy on this issue. One student even wrote an essay for me about it - she pointed out that for many of Brazil's poor the only way they can participate in a culture of arts is by buying illegal because the RRP is too high. This underlines a social trait which us Westerners find hard to understand - individual gain is always prized above the public or national good.

Others see the informal market as a far more efficient form of distribution (especially to regional places such as Natal) which ultimatley only raises the profile of a film which in turn will bring rewards to the makers (Tropa de Elite being a case in point). And more than one person has told me that they see the Police buying illegal DVDs - and if the Police are doing it, why can't they? Finally on this, a scandal hit a couple of years back when it was revealed President Lula himself, who of course publically decries the distribution of pirated material, watched an illegal DVD on his private jet... so then, what are we to do?

What do you think? I'm slowly learning that there is more that blogger can do than just simply posts for blogs. For example, I've found a funky "widget" that allows me to ask your opinion in a survey (to the left, to the left <<<). So, what do you think? Please answer, it will make my day!

ACCORDING TO BOB: The view from the Andes.
According to Bob, the Chilean police are not corrupt - at least, not on the level of interacting with civilians. If you attempt to offer a bribe to a Chilean policeman who has pulled you over for speeding he or she will be very unimpressed (be warned you Brazilians). It is beyond me how the Chilean police, who were the strong arm of the Pinochet dictatorship, have turned out to be, in just a few short years, reliable and trustworthy with respect to their own people and a model of descency and transparency for the whole of South America. If I had had the time, I would have asked Bob more about this...

According to the lady over the road with the bug eyes and the poodle... the reason we had a power cut on Wednesday night was because somebody drove a car into an electricity post in our neighbourhood. We had another power cut on Thursday morning and I'm sure she has a theory for that one too. For a short while, it felt like we were back in Chad visiting my parents where powercuts are two a penny.

BRA, an update. To conclude this already long-in-the-tooth entry, we've been chortling to ourselves at reports in the Brazilian media about the debacle that is BRA - the airline I flew to and from Europe with this summer. Diario de Penarmucano (read by Rachel's Dad) posted a series of reports, which became something of a soap opera. Some customers had been stranded in Recife airport for 24, then 48, then 72 hours waiting for a BRA flight. Their plane had mechanical problems but BRA had no way to transfer any of their 10 aircraft to Recife to assist the passengers as all 10 aircraft were in use elsewhere. The Brazilian Aviation Authority have banned BRA from selling tickets for international flights as a result, tee hee hee.

Brazil 2014! Rachel is beside herself with excitement at the thought of Brazil hosting the 2014 World Cup. We've done the maths: Nelson will be 9, just the age to be fully immersed in the wonder of an event such as this (I remember bawling my eyes out when England lost in the 1990 World Cup semis... but this is Brazil, they won't lose). Rachel is adamant we will be going to a game from wherever in the world we will be living at that time.

I spoke with some of my students today about this. They are all very happy with the news, but the debate for them is whether Natal will be selected as a host city. On the plus side Natal is safe, has a thriving tourist industry and an international airport. Some architect has already drawn up plans for a new stadium of 65,000 but if they have a stage in the north east it may well be in Salvador, Fortaleza or Recife - the bigger capitals.

Other Brazilians are concerned with the cost and investment in sports when the country has other more pressing concerns over education, security and healthcare. But, as another of my students - a university lecturer - pointed out, the money for infrastructure will come from FIFA and the project will create jobs and hopefully aid technological development in security as well as increase the profile of Brazil internationally.

Life is life. We've all had a bit of illness lately, Rach especially with the killer morning sickness. And for me, I have been gingerly putting on shirts and strapping on seatbelts after I got thoroughly lobstered at the beach on Sunday. It's also quite a busy time at work. As my Dad would say, life is life.

ACCORDING TO BOB: The view from the Andes.
According to Bob, Pinochet remained remarkably popular in Chile despite his despotic ways. Still, today the country has a very right wing, conservative bias. There is a socialist government led by a woman, but the opposition is storng and the most widely read newspaper in the country is ultra-blue. During Pinochet's time inflation got out of hand and the currency sky-rocketed. 1000 Chilean Pesas is 1 English Pound. Which means, that the Chilean version of "Who wants to be a millionaire?" is actually only (at least in English Pounds) "Who wants to be a thousandaire?"

I've not been feeling myself, I'm a bit run-down and worn out and in need of some sleep to recharge my batteries. I've been teaching some Advanced student English Idioms for health - such as the above. Strangely, I've spent most of the week feeling "a bit out of it" with a cold, nose, cough "bug" that everyone seems to have. But, "I'm on the way up" and will be "back in shape" in no time, I reckon.

Brazilian GP. So English sports took up it's usual place in the also-ran column of the record books. Rugby, Formula 1 - close to winning but not quite. Brazilians follow F1 very closely, especially when it's in Brazil. They have a sparkling history in the sport - Nelson Piquet and Ayrton Senna are the heroes. Ayrton Senna's high speed death on the track in 1994 produced a reaction in the country similar to Diana's high speed death in 1997. After a few years in the wilderness cheering for the ultimately unsuccessful Rubens Barrichelo, Brazilians have their own young star - Felipe Massa. But even here, Lewis Hamilton is well known and popular. But if you want a British youngster to cheer at the moment I suggest plumping for Hamilton-lookalike Theo Walcott. The 18 year old became the youngest Brit to score in the Champions League earlier this week. He actually scored 2 and made 1 in Arsenal's 7-0 thumping of Slavia Prague. Watch it here.

ACCORDING TO BOB: The view from the Andes.
According to Bob, the Andes separating Chile from Argentina are a cultural as well as a physical barrier. Whereas, Argentina and Brazil historically and culturally draw from Europe and in some cases Africa, Chileans have tended to look out to the massive expanse of the Pacific and their closest neighbours in the north Peru and Bolivia. A small example of what this means: Santiago was conspicuously lacking in racial diversity. I did not see a single black person in our visit there.

Wireless and Bean. Brazilians love Rowan Atkinson as Mr.Bean... and the fact that he hardly speaks means nothing is lost in translation. It's just good old fashioned slap-stick with a whiff of British nerdiness thrown in. Oh, and thanks to a new laptop with wireless connection (courtesy of Rachel´s folks for her birthday) I can write this whilst sitting in front of the tele watching Mr.Bean, hey hey! It's an ancient re-run - Mr.Bean at the pool - which I last saw about 15 years ago.

Things I miss about England #11: asparagus, avocado and tea. It's not that I enjoy these things mixed together, but they are three great consumables which Brazilians don't really "do". They have them alright, at a price, but the quality isn't so good. Asparagus once appeared at the local supermarket and so I bought up a packet instantly, only to discover it cost twice as much as the fresh beef I had bought as well. Chileans on the other hand, now they grow aspargus and avocado and they drink tea, good tea, by the bucketload. Our first meal in Chile was a shared asparagus omlette with an avocado and beef sandwich washed down with two cups of tea. Cracking stuff.

Things I love about Brazil #70: the travelling circus. Two of Nelson's favourite things at the moment are bicycles and monkeys. These two things were unexpectedly brought together today when we went to visit the Koslov Circus which was in town.

Travelling circuses are largely consigned to the history books in England, with the likes of Alton Towers, theme parks and a score of other family attractions proving to be more spectacular, corporate and popular. In Brazil, it seems running off to join the circus is still an option - especially if you're a woman with a beard, or you don't mind having knives thrown at you. The low cost of labour and the lack of too many competing local attractions in the vast expanse of the country seem to me to be possible reasons for the maintainance of this quirky sideshow of the entertainment industry.

So we took Nelson to see the spectacular this afternoon. There were the usual attractions - a father and son trapeze show, some strange animals (a small cow and a llama) and the clowns who did a routine with some kids from the audience. Nelson was mildly interested until the final act which really caught his attention. A big monkey, dressed in a pink dress (with pink bloomers on underneath) was brought onto the stage and cajoled into performing tricks such as walking on stilts and dancing to forro music. The grand finale was the monkey riding a bicycle round the stage. I was genuinely impressed, which is to say nothing of Nelson's reaction.

ACCORDING TO BOB: The view from the Andes.
According to Bob, apart from asparagus and avocado, Chile's primary exports are Salmon and wine. Most Chilean wine is grown in the central region of the country and some of it is made exclusively for export. While we were there we bought a bottle at the local supermarket priced for the equivalent of UK1.50 pounds. Talk about value for money.

ACCORDING TO BOB: The view from the Andes.
Introducing a new little series of posts based around the observations of my good friend Roberto Troncoso (pictured) who we stayed with in Santiago. Roberto is a thoroughly interesting fellow with plenty to say about South America, Chile and conditions therein. So, here's the first one. According to Bob... the 29th of every month is gnocci day in Argentina. This roughly corresponds to workers' pay day and it is apparently traditional for Argentinians to spend their first cheque on gnocci at an Italian restaurant. Is this really true, I ask myself? Well, it is according to Bob.

More flight anecdotes. I'm not about to write a multi-thousand word diatribe (see posts in August after BRA flights) about flying around South America. However, we do still manage to find ourselves regularly embroiled in anecdote-inspiring situations. On the way to Chile, our flight out of Sao Paulo was delayed (it was a national holiday after all). Finally, we board at about 11pm and sit on the runway for some time. I doze off. I stir at the sound of the engines roaring into action and then out of nowhere my seat starts to jolt back and forth and suddenly I'm getting some wiry fingers jabbed into my ribs and, worryingly, it's not Rachel. I'm not sure if it was then or later, but at some moment I came to the realisation that on a flight of some 200 passengers I, with a stunning bolt of sheer poor luck, had found my way to the one seat directly in front of the absolutely crackers old lady.

Senhora Maria (as we discovered her name was) had taken off her seatbelt and stood up at just the time the plane's wheels were leaving the runway. She was muttering in my ear: "Chegou em Santiago? Chegou em Santiago?". In other words, the pause on the runway, the engines firing up had confused our elderly friend. She was under the impression we were landing in Chile. It took the rest of the four hours to convince her otherwise. Rachel seemed to be the only person, passenger or otherwise, who took the time to talk to her and settle her down in her seat. She would stay put for a whole 10 minutes perhaps, before springing up with youthful vigour from her chair to announce to those of us nearby that she wanted to exit the plane for we had surely arrived in Santiago. Each time she did this, I would get my hair tussled, an elbow in the eye-socket, or most amusingly a handbag dropped on me (a sleeping me, I might add) from a considerable height. Eventually, after running round the aisle after her nephew (a man in his 40s who seemed oblivious to her plight) she did what baby Nelson would have done - she sat back down and fell straight into a deep sleep for the rest of the journey. God bless the old dear, but I was praying she wasn't going to be on our return flight and, thankfully, our flight back from Santiago was devoid of bonkers women.

But, on our return we did however get delayed again, missing our final connection to Natal. (In fact, the delayed flight featured candidates from a "Mister Rio 2007" competition. With biceps the size of watermelons, I figured they would be the best guys to operate the emergency doors in the event of an emergency). So, it wasn't until lunch on Wednesday (and after one of my lessons had been cancelled) that we touched down in Natal. But it was worth it, every penny, every minute. What a great holiday - I promise some more detail of Chile next post.

Oh, and one more thing. We sat next to a chatty bloke on one flight who wanted to practice his English with us. He was from Sao Paulo, a consultant. He told us that BRA (that insufferable airline that so gyped me) approached his company to do consultancy - however, his company declined. The reason? BRA were not able to provide an account of their financial situation. Sensing they may not ever be paid, his company quite rightly pulled out.

Amusing uses of English. Continuing the theme of flying on airplanes, I'm constantly amused by the efforts of some Brazilian air stewardesses to deliver announcements in English over the airplane tannoy. I suspect they're reading off a card, or from rote, but aside from the dodgy intonation and pronunciation sometimes they mix up whole sentences.

My two favourites: "Please return your seatbelts to the upright position". Ah yes, we can't be having any seatbelts reclining noncholantly across our laps. Presumably we will have to buckle our tray tables too.

And from this most recent trip: "Please refrain from smoking cell phones until inside the terminal building". I guess the newer models are fully equipped with every mod-con... I'm just not sure which end to light up.

Casa Roberto and Paula. We managed to link up with Roberto by phone shortly after my last post. On Saturday morning he, along with his wife Paula, picked us up and drove us over to Valparaiso - just over 100kms away from Santiago, and on the coast facing the Pacific Ocean. The drive was beautiful, the roads excellent and the day turned out to be sunny and crisp. We stayed at a chalet belonging to Roberto´s sister - the views of the busy town, beach, sea and orange sunset from her patio were stunning.

Sunday we investigated the town and neighbouring Vina del Mar, sampling some local seafood and beer along the way. The beach was decidely colder than Natal. Most Chileans were fully clothed, huddled together, lying flat on the sand in order to duck out of the way of the stiniging breeze. Some foolhardy sorts, (they reminded me of my Dad) were in their swimming costumes taking a dip in the icey Pacific waves. In actual fact, swimming and surfing on most beaches on this stretch was not permitted. The beach drops away into deep and swift ocean currents and it´s considered very unsafe. In the evening, we met up with another of Roberto´s sisters and her family and their gorgeous house just around the corner for some wine and chit chat.

Apart from these small excursions we have mostly been sleeping which can´t be bad. 1 year and 4 months around young Nelson has left a sleep deficit which we are only now managing to replenish. However, we have had ample time to chat to Roberto and Paula (he speaks English, she Spanish but understands Portuguese well). I did my MA with Roberto in York and he is a quiet and thoughtful fellow whose insights into Chilean and South American society, culture and politics has given me enough material for 6 months worth of blog... watch this space for more from him.

We are back in Santiago now at their apartment. Tomorrow morning early, a taxi will take us to the airport for our return flights.

Santiago. We made into Santiago last night and crashed into bed at 4.30am in the morning. Some hilarious stories from our flights which I´ll recount later. I´m typing this from a grotty internet cafe keyboard near our hotel. Out the window - a clean and bustling Santiago, blue skies and the Andes dominating the sky line. It really is stunning here. Tomorrow, if we establish contact with my friend Roberto OK, we should be off to Valparaiso... more news later.

This time tomorrow... we will be on a plane out of Natal on our way to Chile on holiday. Next blog entry will perhaps be from Santiago.

It is a holiday because... Friday is another national holiday in Brazil, this time for the Patron Saint of Brazil, who is - nossa senhora aparecida - that is to say Mary the mother of Jesus. (I was thinking that as Protestants who don't have saints, we should lobby for our own holidays. For example, we definitely need a holiday or two to celebrate the Protestant work ethic). Also, Friday is coincidentally children's day, (like they need another special day in their honour!). I got the fright of my life this week in our supermarket when I was accosted in the nappy aisle by a shop assistant dressed as a clown trying to sell me toys in commemoration of this illustrious occasion.

Next Monday is another holiday for us, as it's national teacher's day. Now, that's what I'm talking about! And, if my proposals for a national "husbands of Brazilians day", "gringos in Natal day", "rice pudding eaters appreciation day" and "Arsenal supporters day" come to fruition I won't have to work until next March. So all these holidays create the space we need to jet off to Chile on 90% reduced air tickets thanks to a TAM promotion...

The distance from Natal, NE Brazil, to Santiago, central Chile, is... more than the distance of Natal to Lagos in Nigeria. Surprising, huh? And it's also 500 miles further than the distance from London to Timbuktu. Thanks to http://www.mapcrow.info/ for the stats.

Between now and tomorrow... we have to do sooo much! Taking a holiday mid-semester is a bit cheeky and we are cutting into our working week either side of our long weekend. This means extra planning for teachers that cover lessons and Rach has to get a presentation of the school's accounts ready by tomorrow. We'll need a holiday after the week we're having, and then we'll need another one after our holiday.