Are these toys really a good idea? Nelson with enough "instruments" (as given by hs great Uncle Andy) to drown out a real orchestra.

Guest blogger: Nelson with "Nelson's column" - a review of the last year.

Hello everyone,

Dad asked me to write the Christmas letter for us Maclures but, as you can see it’s late. This is primarily because I am not even 3 and don’t have a fully developed concept of time. Anyway, what I can recall I will write here.

2008 in review

2008 was quite a year for me. Accounting for nearly double the amount of life I had before I can honestly say that, relatively, I have accomplished a great deal within the last year.

Just like my Mum, I love talking away – I speak Portuguese but sometimes mix it up with the language my Dad speaks. Its all very confusing. Right now, Granny Sally and Grandpa “Click your fingers” are here from somewhere far away (they came on an airplane “bem loooonge”) and they only speak to me in this other funny language. I get some of what they’re saying but when I speak back to them, they don’t understand… how strange. I love them very much though. Granny Sally makes great cookies shaped like cars and Grandpa fixes my toy cars.

As I have said many times before, cars are my favourite things. I recently discovered Herbie and think these films are really ace. I also like swimming. Mum and Dad say I am a very good swimmer because I don’t use arm-bands and I am somewhat fearless in water. Other children who are bigger than me ask me how I can swim so much. I don’t know the answer. I just practice a lot because there is a swimming pool in the same building as my apartment. I can jump in by myself and swim half the length of the pool. I am yet to master breathing underwater. When I do, I may just choose to live in the swimming pool.
I have many friends at my nursery school. My best friend is Rafa. He is one of the only boys who also has fair hair like me. My teacher is Tia Mona Lisa and she is really nice. Often, Mum or Dad walk me to school and I chat to the various pets we see on the way and point out how many red cars I can see.

I have met many excellent people this year. Gracie came to visit me (with her parents Danny and Caz) last January when we lived in our old big house. Now we live in our new apartment and here we welcomed in July a big family with tons of people (with Hugh “amigao” and Timmy “amiginho”) and also Tia Hooty and several other people including, as I already said, Granny Sally and Fingers. Some other Barlows, some from Manchester, some from Switzerland, have also been to visit.

I love going on trips in cars (but especially airplanes) to visit my cousins Johnny “bem pequinino” and Melissa and also to see Gaga and Gugu (my Grandparents) in Recife who I adore, and Tita the dog who I also adore. My Uncle “Doidao” (Nelson) and Tia Mamyha (Amy) live somewhere far away (you have to get an airplane there) and I miss them very much.

Gloria Gloria Hallelujah.

Sometime ago (Mum says “only 8 months ago” but it feels a whole lot longer than that) I went to visit Mum in hospital and found that she no longer had a big tummy – and instead there was a small baby nearby. After some days this baby did not go away. I later made the startling realization that this was my sister Gloria Safi Barlow Maclure and that I was to be her big brother. Gloria is good fun – I knew this as she gave me a present of a car when I met her for the first time.

Although Gloria is a very smiley child, I am the only one in the family who knows how to make her really guffaw with laughter. I do this mainly by pulling faces at her, squeezing her, kissing her, shouting at her, poking her, prodding her, pinching her, hitting her, tweaking her, tipping her over, rugby-tackling her, talking to her, whispering to her, headbutting her, pushing her around on her little chair and so on. Sometimes these things make her cry too but she seems to like it a lot of the time. Mum and Dad tell me off about all this occasionally and I have to sit in the naughty corner which I DO NOT LIKE. Dad once said he doesn’t know how I could have learned such a repertoire of pokes and pinches. I don’t know the answer to this – I think it comes naturally to big brothers.

Gloria is quite different from me. She doesn’t seem to be interested in cars (a shame) but she seems to like clapping and dancing to music (a good thing). She also appears to have a very different philosophy of sleeping. Whereas, obviously, sleep is something we need to get through as quickly as possible to be able to have energy for the next exciting thing coming along, Gloria sees all this differently. As far as I am concerned sleep is an annoyance that needs to be fought. Amazingly, Gloria seems to tolerate sleep to the point where I think she actually enjoys it. She patiently plays for half an hour at a time waiting for the next nap to come along. When Mum and Dad put her down and give her little blanket she sticks her thumb in her mouth and positively beams back at us all (in gratitude at leaving her alone for a while?) and nods off for a few hours. Why does she do this when she could be playing with me? How utterly boring! No matter how much sleep I’ve had during the night I will always insist on waking up at the crack of dawn, shouting out for Dad to play with me. Gloria stays in bed for a few more hours with Mum. I don’t always understand girls.

Mum and Dad

Mum and Dad are OK I think. They work hard at the Cultura Inglesa English language school. I’m always asking Dad if he has to work because if he does it means I have to spend the afternoon with Gloria and Mum and sometimes it´s difficult to share Mum with Gloria as well if nobody is around. I am fascinated by shoes and clothes (especially football shirts with numbers and badges) and am well aware when Mum and Dad are in their work clothes and shows I am in my school clothes and shoes then we probably aren’t going to be seeing as much of each other as we would if it were a weekend.

Speaking of weekends, something we do every Sunday is go to church. Dad asked me recently why we went to church and I said “to run a lot”. Which is true. I do run a lot at church. I love it there because my good friends Johnny and Kaka and Tia Veronica play games with me and let me run. It´s true we also learn about “Papai do ceu” (Heavenly Father) and his son Jesus and I think these stories are strange but interesting. Sometimes I get confused though. Like for example, what’s the difference between “Noé” (Noah) and “Papa Noél” (Santa Claus). Dad showed me a picture of an old man with a white beard on a boat full of animals and I’m sure it was Papa Noel. I mean, they both have big beards. They both hang out with certain types of animals.

Sometimes Dad speaks at the church service although he says he finds it difficult in Portuguese. Mum also meets with other people and talks with them about God and prays with them.

Also on weekends we go to the beach, or to the shopping centre, or to the park, or to some attraction to see animals, or tractors, or big cars or fast cars. Sooner or later we always end up at Habib’s – a fast food restaurant which has a play area for me. I can now climb up the slide, an achievement for a not-yet-3 year old, I think you’ll agree. Habib’s is not the best place, though. They don’t really serve my favourite food or drink: beans and rice washed down with a glass of cool coconut water. Also, I fell out of an open window at Habib’s (I thought it was closed – this is the problem with clear glass: you can’t see it) and landed, splat, in a bush. My new year’s resolution is to not let that happen again these next twelve months.

Well, that’s long enough, I guess. Hope Dad’s happy enough with this, the task master.

Happy New Year
Nelson.

The second first: Nelson's first cinema experience. I was not wholly convinced when Rachel piped up on Wednesday with the idea of the whole family, her folks included, piling along to the cinema on teacher's day holiday. I expected Gloria to cry all the way through and Nelson to get bored after ten minutes. But, in the end it seemed like a good idea, as we were going to watch the animated feature Fly me to the moon and internet reviews said it was pretty dreadful so I figured if we had to leave early we wouldn't really be missing out. In the end, Nelson - and Gloria for that matter - sat transfixed through the whole thing. The lad was visibly upset when the credits rolled and the lights went up: "Quero mais, Daddy. Quero mais!".

AMUSING MOMENT: Nelson sees the spaceship shed its rockets in space and in a voice loud enough for the whole cinema to hear declares: "Olhe! Quebrou ess... quebrou!" (Look! It broke. It broke!)

All in all then, a successful first...

Huge bang. Rach and I sat bolt upright in bed this morning at 5.30am when we heard a huge explosion several hundred yards away. Given that our new home is within a kilometre of a military training base, and given that yesterday they sent 5 low-flying helicopters over our heads (which sent Nelson into conniptions) I was expecting to see the opening salvos of World War III outside our window this morning. But, thankfully, it was "only" an electricity power box exploding, cutting all the electricity (including traffic lights) in the neighbourhood. It's back on now, which is good.

The 16th Sertoes Rally of Brazil. Much to the delight of Nelson and his Dad, an off-road Brazilian rally finished in Natal at the end of June. Unfortunately, we didn't know about it far enough in advance to see the cars race on the dunes live (although we did catch a report on the TV) but we did see evidence of the rally around time. A trip to Camaroes restaurant to say goodbye to Aunt Amy returning to the UK suddenly became even more interesting when the car park was filled with the Mercedes rally team - lots of huge trucks with grubby, stickered exteriors was enough to inspire Nelson to a big "WWWOOOOOWWWWW". The drivers and team and some local press were in the restaurant enjoying an end of rally party. A few days later and Rachel and I went to a shopping centre and found the Mitsibushi team parked on the top floor of the car park (see pic). Cue another "WWOOOOWWWWWWWW" from Nelson. Oddly, there was also an exhibition of farm animals on the same level of the car park as well as a kid's theme park. Amazing what you can find in a shopping centre car park in Brazil.

Rachel's Granny Lali's 80th. Several weeks have passed but I feel I can't really neglect to mention the huge family knees-up that occurred in Joao Pessoa at the end of June either. Laulau or Lali is a larger than life character, mother of 6, grandmother and great grandmother to countless (see pic with her and Nelson and Gloria) and she expected, organised and warranted a huge party to celebrate a significant milestone. The focus of the weekend was a 2 hour service on Saturday evening at the 1st Presybterian Church of Joao Pessoa where Laulau is a faithful attender and member of the choir. All family were dressed for the occasion, which meant suits and ties for the men, and we were all paraded in as Laulau read out our names. The service included a 45-minute sermon from the pastor who exhorted us to shine brilliantly like Jesus and look to Laulau as an example of somebody who has lived this out. After the service it was downstairs for food and some "short" speeches by select members of the family. But, once Laulau herself took the mic there wasn't a lot of hoping of getting it back again as she regaled us with endless stories (she did the same last year it seems). It was a great night, but poor Nelson was absolutely exhausted when he finally collapsed asleep in the car at 11.30pm. At 5am he was awake and ready to play...

...unlike Gloria. Nelson's sister needs to teach him some lessons on how to sleep. She managed 22 total hours asleep last Wednesday, waking only for feeds. Last night both her and Nelson managed to sleep the whole night through without waking - Nelson woke at 5.30am, Gloria woke at 7am and went back to sleep at 8am until mid-day. We think her preference for sleep is partly inspired by being the daughter of her mother and because she's figured out being asleep is so much more relaxing than waking life when your brother is a poking, hugging, kissing, slapping, prodding, pushing, stroking, patting, picking, cuddling, pulling, shouting, screaming, talking, whispering, surprising kind of guy. She seems to take it all in her stride though and beams huge smiles at all of us now, including Nelson.

Proud parents of rapidly growing kids. Nelson had the party for his 2nd birthday at school. It was the earliest party I've been to (9am in the morning!) but it's a cheap way to have a festa. All his pals are already there, the school has a function room and we provide decorations and snacks. The theme for the day was, obviously, the Cars movie so Nelson was resplendent in McQueen shirt and cap and the walls were decked with figures from the film. All of us had a great time and Nelson seemed to be in seventh heaven with the unexpected coming together of his favourite things - family (his Aunt was back from the UK for it too), cars, food and friends. Some short videos of the festivities are here on YouTube.

I have to say, and I know I'm biased, but I was really amazed at how Nelson related to his peers. His best friend Rafa was there (the only other blondie in the school - perhaps the two of them are a support group) which he was happy about and of course the two of them had a great time together. But, it was also how mcuh more on the ball Nelson seemed and quick to pick up new tricks (he could blow bubbles, the other kids couldn't) or follow the lead in a new game. However, if we're worried about Nelson being a SuperKid we should probably take medication because Gloria is breaking records with her development. At the Doctor's yesterday and they weighed and measured her. She's in the top 5% for her age for weight and the top 2% for height at a whopping 56cms long already! She's a beast! Those 3 month baby grows are already looking like shrinkwrap on her...

Weekend of chaos/fun. It's Rachel's granny's 80th and so there is a big shindig down in Joao Pessoa on Saturday evening and Sunday. I have to wear a suit - that's the first time anyone has insisted on this here in Brazil, but if you turn 80 you can call the shots at your party, I guess! I will come back to Natal alone on Sunday night and try to move us to our new apartment while Rach and the kids hang out in Recife. I'll be abley assisted by three salt-of-the-earth Brazilian chaps who I have trouble understanding and who have trouble understanding me.

Mum and Dad. Quick shout out for prayer for Ma and Pa in troublesome Chad. Rebels on the move again although so far they're far from the capital and there is no immediate threat.

Parabens para voce: the Brazilian children's party experience. One thing that is a given about being a Dad is that vast chunks of your time are spent doing things you would not normally have chosen to do. This week Nelson had 3 birthday parties to go to and I was there for each one. I shouldn't be bitter though. If it weren't for Nelson, Rach and I wouldn't have a night life.

Brazilian children's parties are something else. They tend to happen in the evening, usually starting at the time Nelson would probably go to bed. Like a wedding, the evening concludes with the cutting of the cake, often ornately decorated. This can happen quite late - just when the kids are at their most wired, unruly and dazed. Goody bags loaded with sweets are given to each of the kids who attend, just to tip them over the edge into oblivion. Unlike my childhood where sweets were an extreme luxury and I was only allowed like one every other month, Brazilian children are fed a steady diet of processed sugar until they are adults at which point they have the right to choose their own sweets. Nelson probably falls in the middle of these two experiences, but needless to say the top deck of our fridge is loaded with the goody bags of many a birthday party and Nelson is always trying his luck for a lolly pop or a packet of M&M's. The last thing that should be said about Brazilian parties (and I am now a certified expert) is that a party is not a party without at least one TV blaring out at top volume the sing-a-long karaoke tunes of that most surreal of Brazilian personalities: the blond bombshell herself, the perennial children's TV presenter Xuxa*.

I have decided to rate this week's parties based on these criteria: timekeeping, food, company, location and venue, entertainment, goody bag quality and of course the Xuxa factor.

Party A: Monday night. Jercia, aged 2.
Timekeeping. The cutting of the cake happened probably half an hour too late at sometime after 9pm. Everyone was exhausted. 2/5
Food. Nice finger food - coxinhas and brigadeiro - and a plate of rice and corn. 4/5
Company. Jercia (who up until that evening we'd thought was called Jessica) is the daughter of a neighbour so it was nice to hang out with the other folks on our street including the Mum of Nelson's "girlfriend" Bia. 4/5
Location and venue. In our neighbour's house. Being close enough to our house was an advantage. When Nelson had had enough and wanted his bed, he waddled over to our house and rapped on the gate. 4/5.
Entertainment. One of Jercia's cousins was dressed as a clown, which Nelson loved. The other kids were good value and Nelson seemed to be at home. 4/5.
Goody bag quality. Jercia's family are quite devout Catholics and they provided quite a snazzy zip bag with a Bible verse on and Jercia's name. Inside the bag, of course, was sweets. 5/5.
Xuxa Factor. The TV was on, and Xuxa was strutting her stuff. 5/5.
OVERALL: 4/5.

Party B: Thursday night. Felipe, aged 2.
Timekeeping. The cutting of the cake happened probably an hour too late at sometime after 9.30pm. Everyone was exhausted. 1/5
Food. Waitor service, with pizzas, hot dogs, popcorn. To drink the Dad's were offered whisky. 4/5
Company. Generally, this was a huge gathering of some quite posh folks who we did not know so well. Rach did a good job talking to the other Mums, but I found it all a bit stifling. 3/5
Location and venue. In a huge party venue, with dance room, games room, swimming pool (not used on the night). Less than 10 minutes drive from house. 4/5.
Entertainment. They had everything here - trampoline, trampo-bungee thing, a room of balls, a climbing wall, a doll's house, arcade games, and everything was themed around the film "Cars" much to Nelson's delight. Huge soft toys modelled on the films characters were everywhere, awesome! 5/5.
Goody bag quality. A bag of sweets in a toy truck. 4/5.
Xuxa Factor. Music in the dance room was by Xuxa, but no TV. 2/5.
OVERALL: 3/5.

Party C: Saturday night. Lukas, aged 5.
Timekeeping. The cutting of the cake was late but not too late. 3/5
Food. Excellent home made grub, including some special brothy soup which was Lukas' Grandmum's homemade dish. Lukas' Grandpa kept my glass topped with cool beer. 5/5
Company. Lukas' Mum (Giane) is a secretary at the Cultura language school, and although we didn't know anyone else, these were "pessoas simples" (down to earth folk), mostly family and very friendly. The comical moment of the evening for me was when Lukas' great Uncle arrived in his jeep from a day fishing, got out and strolled into the party wearing his speedos and a vest top. Now, that's how to dress for a party! 4/5
Location and venue. In Giane's house. It took us half an hour to get there, and Nelson was grumpy about that. Rach had to ask directions about half a dozen times. It wasn't her fault - Brazilians tend to give directions even if they don't know the way, but we worked it out eventually, thank God. 2/5.
Entertainment. Balloons and the great Uncle's jeep. What more could you ask for. 4/5.
Goody bag quality. Lots of sweets. 3/5.
Xuxa Factor. The TV was on, and Xuxa was blaring out at a volume that impeded normal conversation. 7/5.
OVERALL: 4/5.

*Xuxa has been around on TV since the 1980s and is an institution in Brazil and one of the country's wealthiest citizens. Rach said she remembered Xuxa on TV - in particular, the bit where Xuxa dances out of a space ship. I found the very clip on YouTube here. It is dreadful, and there's something not quite right about the young girls' costumes. Xuxa is a controversial character, and has been accused of "over-sensualising" adolescents in her videos. The writers of the Simpsons parodied this aspect of Xuxa's act in the infamous "Simpsons in Brazil" episode, which was subsequently banned in Brazil. And, I found that very clip on YouTube too.

And that will do for today's post...

Back at work #1. Nelson's playgroup is off for January so I am on part time baby-sitting duty as Rachel works in the morning. I'm actually really enjoying it - it's demanding and involves a lot of walking around in circles but I get to play with dinky cars again, paddle in swimming pools and go to the arcades and toy shops with a smashing young man. I was thinking the other day about the different roles a Dad of an 18-month-old is expected to fulfil. Some of these are mechanic (of broken toy cars), constructor (of ramps), technician (of DVD player to watch Cars film), doctor/nurse (of scraped knees and banged heads), luggage carrier (of stuff - you should see what ends up in my pocket at the end of the day), lifeguard, fridge opener, teacher, supplier of coconut water, cleaner, cook, driver, stylist, dentist etc.

I think on balance I am probably an OK Dad - I spend a lot of time with Nelsinho and try my best to involve myself in what he likes to do but of course I make some schoolboy errors and sometimes run out of things to talk about to a boy with a vocabulary of less than 25 words. (You should see Rach though, I don't know how she does it - she and Nelson rabbit on all afternoon!). However, I know that despite my best efforts I will never really be up to scratch in the eyes of Brazil's women. They are already suspicious that as a guy I would be spending so much time doing what traditionally is the role of women. And as a male GRINGO they are convinced I am a liability at best in my parenting. Ever since we got to Brazil, I have had to get used to a barrage of comments coming from every other woman I pass during the day that Nelson is too cold, too hot, too sweaty (but it is 40C!), not sweaty enough, sleeping too much, not sleeping enough, doesn't have shoes on but should, does have shoes on but shouldn't, needs a shirt, take off his trousers, give him some cake, why not have a bath. Occasionally, I have had him pulled straight out my arms and shipped straight to the nearest sink for a hosedown via the kitchen for some cookies by some well-meaning Brazilian grandmother.

Anyway, today the Brazilian women had something to write home about and were no doubt left wondering how Nelson would survive another 10 minutes in my care. This morning at the house, my son and I were all set for a game of cars on the step outside the front. I turn my back for half a second to bolt the gate open only to find the guy has flung himself from the top of the third step and is lying spreadagled on the pavement with a menacing shiner on his forehead. If my guilt wasn't enough I have had to endure the non-stop tutting of the Natalense female populace... But, I guess I am not the victim here: Nelson dusted himself off pretty well and once the DVD of Cars was on he had forgotten all about it.

Back at work #2. I'm also doing some English lessons although the semester doesn't start for real until February. This week I've been giving a crash course in TOEFL to half a dozen students. I asked one of them about her extended family during a lesson. "I have an enormous family", she said. "I am one of 56 grandchildren that my grandmother has". Astonishing! I'll note that on my blog, I thought to myself...

Danny and Caz and Gracie to visit Natal. This is unspeakably good news! For a week at the end of January more great buddies will be out here to visit us.

Siasen's video. I have a good pal who is studying Film in London. Here is one of his creations on YouTube. Please leave constructive comments for Siasen about what you think of his short film. Siasen also seems to be the principal actor - the dude has talent!

Leckenby Pics. Ruth, some of your pics are revolving nicely in the little slideshow to the right.