ENGLAND v BRAZIL

Things I miss about England #98: The Hoobs. Great kids show on Channel 4 I used to watch with Nelsinho... All together now: "We`re off to see the tiddly-peeps, on the road we go!"

Things I love about Brazil #71: Discovery Kids Brasil http://www.discoverykidsbrasil.com/. They may not have the Hoobs here but Cable TV provides several channels of 24 hour kids programmes. Advert free, non-violent and educational, Discovery Kids presented by the intrepid Doki Descobre (pictured) is our (and Nelsinho`s) favourite. What`s more is that he teaches Portuguese to small children which I find helpful. "As formas sao muito divertidos!" (Shapes are a lot of fun!).

If anyone finds themselves in Brazil, looking after a baby between the hours of 5am and 7am here is a review of the best (and worst) things to watch on Discovery Kids. Check the link above for more details on any of these shows, or for the chance to play games with Doki and learn some Portuguese.

Pocoyo (also seen in the UK). The English version is narrated by Stephen Fry. A 3-yr old, and his duck (Pato) and elephant (Ellie) friend have numerous, unpredictable adventures. Absolutely brilliant short animation series from a production company based in Madrid. Great sfx too. 9/10

Jakers! As Adventuras de Piggly Winks (Jakers! The adventures of Piggly Winks). This show has a clever premise - an old Irish pig living in America tells his grandchildren what it was like growing up in rural Ireland. Good music, animation average. 7/10

Harry e o balde de dinosaurs (Harry and his bucket of dinosaurs). Not bad, mildly entertaining animation about a boy who has adventures in the imaginary "Dino-World" with his bucket of dinosaurs who come to life. 6/10

Os Irmaos Coalas (The Koalo Brothers). As the theme tune says "adoram ajudar" (they love to help!). Alrightish antics of two brothers who live in a caravan in the Australian outback. They fly around in a plane and help people. The problems with this show are many: why do the 8 people living in a small village in the outback need help every day? How can the Koalo Brothers afford to run a plane when they appear to have no source of income? Who are the two kids who live with them - the frankly wet Ned (see Caillou and Poko below), and the annoying Josie? Why do they kids never go to school? My theory: Ned and Josie are foster kids and the Brothers Koalo use Australian state money meant for education to fund their fixation with flying in their old time plane. The village folk are too polite to tell the brothers that they don`t need any help at all... 5/10

Toddworld. Todd is far too politically correct to be a real boy living in the real world. 4/10.

Caillou (3/10), Poko (2/10). Boring, slow, dreamy and tame stories about two young lads who probably flinch at passing butterflies. Poko has anger management issues too.